That's good enough for me. An all-decision book is OK, but I usually like having battles. Great job with what fairly little I found. Quality writing and genius plot. No criticism beyond battles.
Grade: 99

Salrik Strongbow
Wed Aug 9 02:03:38 2017

That was not only hilarious to play through (I actually played through and found every ending I could) but the 'real' ending was surprisingly heartwarming and lovely.

This is my favorite adventure I've had so far. Thank you.

Raymond
Thu Sep 14 09:07:21 2017
Star - optimum ending reached

Hmm. Interesting maths puzzle at the start. The ending took me by surprise, not sure if there are multiple endings or not. Quite an interesting twist to the tale.

YU
Mon Nov 6 12:24:24 2017

SHORT STORY

Rafał
Tue Feb 6 16:00:34 2018
Skull - non-optimum ending reached

It is very super and sadness history. goodbye.

Víctor
Mon Apr 2 22:03:11 2018
Skull - non-optimum ending reached

LOL

Rob
Sat May 12 18:25:45 2018
Skull - non-optimum ending reached

Cool!

Rob
Sat May 12 18:47:22 2018
Star - optimum ending reached

Very kinky one that

paul
Mon Mar 18 11:19:53 2019
Skull - non-optimum ending reached

what a thoroughly odd gamebook. i was tortured to death by a dom dwarf. i enjoyed it though. the gamebook, that is. i might enjoy the torture too, but that's another matter.

Melchion the Modest
Wed Jun 5 20:07:25 2019
Skull - non-optimum ending reached

Why did I die?

oakley
Mon Mar 23 03:40:23 2020

Yaztromo
Wed Apr 8 08:17:34 2020
Star - optimum ending reached

Every time I play this little, lovely adventure I find something fun that I didn't notice previously...

Noel M
Thu Jan 7 16:57:16 2021
Skull - non-optimum ending reached

Very witty and quirky, highly entertaining. Great job!

Mage
Mon Oct 18 02:48:35 2021
Star - optimum ending reached

Always an entertaining read, no matter which of the many paths I take! :D

YARD
Mon Aug 21 13:47:01 2023
Star - optimum ending reached

I have gotten the "CONGRATULATIONS" endings before, twice, and found this work great, but I decided to give it another look after a less positive experience with A Midwinter Carol, also written by Kieran around the same time, to see if I might now think worse of it.

I need not have worried! The writing of every ref is just as fun and inventive as I found it before - further, I have won relatively quickly back then, and so I missed a whole lot of truly inventive and consistently amusing ways to fail (as well as a third way to win in addition to the two I knew about) - ways to fail which nevertheless consistently feel fair in hindsight (none of the abritrary "with no visual cues, you turn north instead of south and immediately die/are incapacitated" of certain other gamebooks). Perhaps the only exception is the tapioca encounter, which might be a little less obvious than Kieran intended, since the ref does not really specify just how large it actually is. I was certain that contracting it would shrink it to something fist- or at most arm-sized and that certainly didn't happen.

Unfortunately, the one minor, yet detectable downside are the typos. I think this gamebook might have set a record for typo-density-per-ref out of the ones I have seen so far.

1 - a missing question mark in the sentence with "unusual".

4
"and a sickly yellowish fog surround everyone."

8

"This elicts no response."

11

"going through the whole spectrum of the emotion." (?)

12

"not only how your "cure" having worn off,"

14

High Priest's name is misspelled + "charge on (?) you" + "as one of the guard"

17

"the atrocitities of war"

24

"It is only as the monstrousity" + "shattering the place you were just standing"

26

"he says, indicating you wish a dismissive hand gesture."

+ "now (that?) they have had their memories jogged"

27

"A blast of air sends you flying into the air," (no other way to write this?)

32

"bedecked with (a?) carving" + "Zyterr" (rather than the other spelling).

41

"and, as you them in dismay,"

42

"and have heard tell (?) he lives in these parts."

54

"all writing tentacles"

56

"Upon the throne sits a bent figre" + "Similary bent and mishapen" (possibly two typos in that excerpt).

57

"You clamber through the sun-bleacked mountain"

58

"a tome entitled "The Sorcerous Eunch""

60
"near enough false to knock your teeth out."

61

"All him in shock."

63

"Suddenly the grounds gives way beneath your feet"

64

"in a pincer like grip" (probably misses a dash)

69

"From the shadows steps yours illusion" + " out of the building, which turn out to be"

71

"I have been learning magic form the wizard Davor"

72

"you hear the unmistakeable (?) sound of singing in the distance."

76

"He looks defiant(ly?) at you" + "Don't be afeared" (intentional, as I have seen that in another ref too?)

77
"such a magical construct need no brain for thought"

85

"Miss. Ronson" (is a period necessary here?) + "The colour swirl before your eyes" (an "s" is clearly missing somewhere.)

92

"eager to re Melchion and finally free him of his curse."

98

"Zyterr" again + "Melchior" (?) + (potentially) "as everyone else runs screaming.No spell affects the horrible monster."

99

"will allow you to fully recover.Cursing"

Lastly, I would suggest to proofread the illusion contoction recipe REALLY carefully. Firstly, there are there numerous missing plural forms. Secondly, I am not sure if this was intended by Kieran or not, but the recipe always fails if you try to follow it exactly as written, and you must assume there is a major typo to succeed.

SPOILER

END SPOILER

Thanks, fixed all of these now except for one or two which are not definitely wrong.

MPerera
Wed Aug 30 04:55:54 2023
Star - optimum ending reached

The endings where I lost were even more entertaining than the "good" one.

Kieran
Fri Sep 8 22:47:29 2023

Yikes, that's a lot of typos! Thanks for fixing those, Andy.

I mostly like this one and I'm glad you do too as the feedback I got at the time was mixed bordering on negative. I think one reviewer suggested it verged on transphobic which was the complete opposite of my intention so definitely my bad there. I also find the ending is a bit rushed but couldn't really find a way past it without cutting other content I liked.

YARD
Sat Sep 9 08:10:00 2023

Well, to be fair, that dream sequence in Baba Yaga's hut might have been an experiment too far, and I wouldn't be surprised if that contributed a lot to those comments.

I would say my main disappointment with the ending(s) is that if you do succeed at the illusion recipe, it is still the same as in the other works, and you never find out if the Davor actually bothered to uncharm those two servants (the one turned to statue, and perhaps more pressingly, the one turned to squirrel), which does add some uncomfortable weight to those events.

letícia
Tue Jan 23 01:53:12 2024
Star - optimum ending reached

muito legal

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