I have gotten the "CONGRATULATIONS" endings before, twice, and found this work great, but I decided to give it another look after a less positive experience with A Midwinter Carol, also written by Kieran around the same time, to see if I might now think worse of it.

I need not have worried! The writing of every ref is just as fun and inventive as I found it before - further, I have won relatively quickly back then, and so I missed a whole lot of truly inventive and consistently amusing ways to fail (as well as a third way to win in addition to the two I knew about) - ways to fail which nevertheless consistently feel fair in hindsight (none of the abritrary "with no visual cues, you turn north instead of south and immediately die/are incapacitated" of certain other gamebooks). Perhaps the only exception is the tapioca encounter, which might be a little less obvious than Kieran intended, since the ref does not really specify just how large it actually is. I was certain that contracting it would shrink it to something fist- or at most arm-sized and that certainly didn't happen.

Unfortunately, the one minor, yet detectable downside are the typos. I think this gamebook might have set a record for typo-density-per-ref out of the ones I have seen so far.

1 - a missing question mark in the sentence with "unusual".

4
"and a sickly yellowish fog surround everyone."

8

"This elicts no response."

11

"going through the whole spectrum of the emotion." (?)

12

"not only how your "cure" having worn off,"

14

High Priest's name is misspelled + "charge on (?) you" + "as one of the guard"

17

"the atrocitities of war"

24

"It is only as the monstrousity" + "shattering the place you were just standing"

26

"he says, indicating you wish a dismissive hand gesture."

+ "now (that?) they have had their memories jogged"

27

"A blast of air sends you flying into the air," (no other way to write this?)

32

"bedecked with (a?) carving" + "Zyterr" (rather than the other spelling).

41

"and, as you them in dismay,"

42

"and have heard tell (?) he lives in these parts."

54

"all writing tentacles"

56

"Upon the throne sits a bent figre" + "Similary bent and mishapen" (possibly two typos in that excerpt).

57

"You clamber through the sun-bleacked mountain"

58

"a tome entitled "The Sorcerous Eunch""

60
"near enough false to knock your teeth out."

61

"All him in shock."

63

"Suddenly the grounds gives way beneath your feet"

64

"in a pincer like grip" (probably misses a dash)

69

"From the shadows steps yours illusion" + " out of the building, which turn out to be"

71

"I have been learning magic form the wizard Davor"

72

"you hear the unmistakeable (?) sound of singing in the distance."

76

"He looks defiant(ly?) at you" + "Don't be afeared" (intentional, as I have seen that in another ref too?)

77
"such a magical construct need no brain for thought"

85

"Miss. Ronson" (is a period necessary here?) + "The colour swirl before your eyes" (an "s" is clearly missing somewhere.)

92

"eager to re Melchion and finally free him of his curse."

98

"Zyterr" again + "Melchior" (?) + (potentially) "as everyone else runs screaming.No spell affects the horrible monster."

99

"will allow you to fully recover.Cursing"

Lastly, I would suggest to proofread the illusion contoction recipe REALLY carefully. Firstly, there are there numerous missing plural forms. Secondly, I am not sure if this was intended by Kieran or not, but the recipe always fails if you try to follow it exactly as written, and you must assume there is a major typo to succeed.

SPOILER

END SPOILER

Thanks, fixed all of these now except for one or two which are not definitely wrong.

MPerera
Wed Aug 30 04:55:54 2023
Star - optimum ending reached

The endings where I lost were even more entertaining than the "good" one.

Kieran
Fri Sep 8 22:47:29 2023

Yikes, that's a lot of typos! Thanks for fixing those, Andy.

I mostly like this one and I'm glad you do too as the feedback I got at the time was mixed bordering on negative. I think one reviewer suggested it verged on transphobic which was the complete opposite of my intention so definitely my bad there. I also find the ending is a bit rushed but couldn't really find a way past it without cutting other content I liked.

YARD
Sat Sep 9 08:10:00 2023

Well, to be fair, that dream sequence in Baba Yaga's hut might have been an experiment too far, and I wouldn't be surprised if that contributed a lot to those comments.

I would say my main disappointment with the ending(s) is that if you do succeed at the illusion recipe, it is still the same as in the other works, and you never find out if the Davor actually bothered to uncharm those two servants (the one turned to statue, and perhaps more pressingly, the one turned to squirrel), which does add some uncomfortable weight to those events.

letícia
Tue Jan 23 01:53:12 2024
Star - optimum ending reached

muito legal

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